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Tuesday, 13 January 2015

3 Relationship Tips

'Connect with People' is the second tip in the article Ten Easy Steps to Happier Living by Mark Williamson and Vanessa King. The idea is that if you have strong relationships you will be happier and healthier. In a way, that seems obvious or at least highly likely, but the question is what is involved in 'connecting' with people or 'having strong relationships'? I would make 3 points about this:

1. Quality is more important than quantity - if you only have a multitude of social connections that are actually quite superficial this is unlikely to meet your emotional and psychological needs to feel cared for and respected and to feel that you are giving something important to others. Therefore, I would suggest you focus your efforts on improving or maintaining the quality of the relationships that are most important to you.

 2. Remember that the best relationships are two-way - if you feel that certain relationships that are important to you are becoming imbalanced - either you feel you are giving way too much to the other person or you are receiving way too much from them, then try to take steps to address the balance and if possible share your feelings about this in a sensitive way with the other person to try to find a way to improve the balance that is acknowledged as sensible by both of you.

3. Sometimes you need to take risks in relationships - if something significant is going wrong in an important relationship and there is no obvious reason why that will improve, consider what you can do that is different to try to address the difficulty and/or discuss the situation with the other person to see if they acknowledge the difficulty and then to try to find an agreed way forward.

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