Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Basic Meditation Practice

Meditation has of course been used within Eastern Philosophy and Religion for many centuries as a way of stilling the mind and help you to 'live in the moment'.

More recently it has been incorporated within approaches involving cbt (cognitive behavioural therapy) and 'mindfulness' to help you deal with stress and anxiety or to help with pain management.

Below is a link to a page where you can learn a basic meditation practice:

For information about Life Coaching go to: Life Coaching Service
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Thursday, 5 May 2011

What is Self Coaching?

Self Coaching is when instead of paying a professional such as a life coach or counsellor to help you make changes in your life or deal with problems, you use some of their techniques to do it for yourself!

The advantages of this are that you save money and you may also gain in confidence from seeing that you can achieve change on your own.

If you think you might want to learn how to coach yourself then click on the link below:
For information about Life Coaching go to: Life Coaching Service
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Becoming a Life Coach

Like most life coaches I have found that a number of those who visit my Life Coaching Website  are themselves interested in becoming life coaches (or in some cases they already are life coaches!).

There are a number of attractions to being a life coach, including:
  • The enjoyment and personal reward that comes from helping people to do what they want or to overcome problems
  • Being able to take control of our own business and organise your life accordingly
  • Being in a role where you continually learn and develop.
However, despite the numerous life coaching courses out there who make it appear as if training to be a life coach is a simple way to guaranteed personal and financial success there are also some pitfalls to being a life coach, such as:
  • Starting any business is challenging and this applies as much to a life coaching business as to any other
  • Making decisions such as how to market your business and how to develop a website require thought and research
  • It is important to reflect on how to keep appropriate boundaries in your work with clients who may be vulnerable people and how to ensure that you are providing a service which is worthwhile and effective
To help you decide if you want to become a life coach, I run a Be a Life Coach Newsletter which gives you the benefit of my own experience to help you navigate your way through the potential issues involved in becoming a life coach.
To find out more, click on the link below:

For information about Life Coaching go to: Life Coaching Service
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Motivational Interviewing

Motivational Interviewing is an approach to helping people make changes in their lives and break difficult habits such as alcohol or drug addictions, as well as helping to deal with more intangible issues you might want to address such as assertivenss or low self esteem.

The approach is based on a psychological model of change known as The Stages of Change Model (it is also sometimes called The Transtheoretical Model) which was postulated by two psychologists - James Prochaska and Carlo Di Clemente.

You can find out more about The Stages of Change Model and the strategies suggested by Motivational Interviewing at the link below:


For information about Life Coaching go to: Life Coaching Service
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Friday, 11 March 2011

Benefits of Exercise

Recently some research has been highlighted in the media indicating that exercise can help to reduce the risk of bowel cancer. In fact, there seems to be a consensus amongst health experts that a regular bit of exercise - 30 minutes of moderate physical activity on 5 or more days a week - can give you a large number of health benefits, cutting the risk of premature death by 20-30%.

Exercise can also help you to deal with stress better and feel more relaxed.

This may seem a boring message in an age when many people seek complex therapies or, at the other end of the spectrum, a regime of medication or health supplements to aid them with various ailments. Of course, when appropriately used these things can also be helpful but it's important not to forget the basics of a healthy lifestyle and having a moderate amount of exercise is one of them!

For more information about the benefits of exercise and recommended acttivity level, please visit the NHS website at the link below:

As always, if starting to exercise (or do any other healthy activity) is something new to you, then set yourself realistic achievable goals in the amount and timing of exercise that you are going to aim for.
Good Luck!
For information about Life Coaching go to: Life Coaching Service
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Monday, 28 February 2011

Mediation and Divorce

In the UK the government has recently introduced plans to require couples to attend compulsory mediation before they can get a divorce.

The strongest argument in favour of this is perhaps that going through a lengthy court battle can be a difficult and stressful experience and if possible it is better to reach a mediated solution.

On the other hand some (including several lawyers - who might well lose out if/when the change is introduced) have argued that this is just an attempt by the government to save having to pay out a lot of money in legal aid and that it will have practical disadvantages.

If you are interested in finding out more about this proposal, visit the BBC's website at: Mediation for Divorcing Couples.

From a coaching perspective my own suggestion would be that if you are about to divorce or separate, one of the first steps that may help you (whether or not you go to mediation) is to think through how different areas of your life (and/or your children's lives if you have children) may be affected and clarify in your own mind the outcomes that you would like to achieve from the divorce or separation process.

A simple exercise to help you clarify what you are seeking in this situation can be found on my website at the web page below:

Preparing for Divorce or Separation

For information about Life Coaching go to: Life Coaching Service
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books


Thursday, 10 February 2011

Favourite Aphorisms

A friend recently sent me an email - one of those emails which you are encouraged to forward to others - which listed 45 lesssons of life attributed to Regina Brett, a 90 year old newspaper columnist.

Here are 5 of the suggested life lessons (not in the order they originally appeared) - you may or may not agree with them but I thought they were quite interesting at the least...Feel free to comment on your own favourite aphorisms in response:

1. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

4. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

5. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

For information about Life Coaching go to: Life Coaching Service
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books


Friday, 14 January 2011

Is it Within Your Control?

Everyone gets into situations where they are frustrated, angry, anxious or upset about something that is happening.

Sometimes those apparently negative emotions can be a positive impetus which gets you take useful action and to do something to change a situation for the better.

On other occasions, the thing that you are worried about may not be something within your control. Indeed it may be something over which you have no influence at all.

If that is the case then continuing to focus on the problem which you can do nothing about may simply fuel your negative emotions.

So sometimes when you are feeling angry or anxious about something three practical questions to ask are:

1. What are the outcomes I would like from this situation?

2. Is it within my control to achieve that outcome?

3. If it is not within my control, is there still something I might do to influence the outcome or increase the likilihoood of it happening?

If you can influence the outcome by your actions, then it makes sense to assess the likely advantages of taking action against any downsides and decide on that basis whether to act.

However, if you don't think you can influence the outcome by your actions, then it may be more practical to ask yourself what you can do to achieve a different outcome: the outcome of dealing with your frustrations or coping with the situation if it persists.

This might involve focusing on something else other than the situation to take your mind off it, or it might involve reminding yourself to be patient or asking yourself if there is a different way in which you can look at your situation (for example, you might start to view it as a challenge or an opportunity to practise your skills of patience or to build relationships with people who feel the same way as you about the situation). Or you might decide to seek external support for yourself in the situation.

Why bang your head against a brick wall if it is not improving the situation?

For information about life coaching go to: Life Coaching Service
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Friday, 19 November 2010

Keeping a Diary

In CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) clients are often recommended to record their anxious thoughts and their daily activities in a diary.

This can help to distance you from the experience of anxiety or depression if you are feeling negative and it can also give you a more objective record of how your day goes - of any good points as well as the negative things that you may have a tendency to focus on if you are feeling stressed or down.

To read more about what you might include in your daily diary if you want it to be a useful tool in dealing with stress, anxiety or negative thoughts, click on the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Monday, 8 November 2010

Is there a Cure for Anxiety?

If you experience severe anxiety or panic, it may be natural for you to wonder 'Is there a cure for anxiety?'

However, anxiety serves a useful evolutionary function - if you had no anxiety at all you would never be alert to dangers.

Dealing with anxiety is not about finding a magic bullet or getting rid of anxiety altogether.

It is about putting your anxiety in perspective and balancing anxious thoughts that are not warranted by the situation you are in.

How do you do this?

Check out my program for dealing with Anxiety using CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) techniques at the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Friday, 22 October 2010

Asking 'Why Am I Anxious?'

Perhaps the most natural thing you want to do if you are experiencing anxiety is wonder why your are anxious.

But can you take this too far?

What if your search for causes or even for solutions ends up leading to you spending most of your time scouring the internet or reading through books in the hope that one day you will find that simple explanation for anxiety or the perfect solution which will remove your anxious feelings?

If that is so then surely it may be better to limit your searching in a practical way.

You can find a simple tip for what you might do if you find yourself continually asking 'Why am I anxious?' at the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

When Does Your Mid Life Crisis Happen?

According to a survey carried out by RELATE it seems that mid life crisis may now been happening earlier - around the age of 35-44 rather than in your later 40s-50s.

The report suggests some common sense explanations such as that in this period several pressures including work, money, family issues are very prevalent (Is the thought that these pressures are now more common at an earlier age than previously?).

I wonder if many people now also have more expectations of what they can achieve and so disappointment can kick in earlier than previously?

To read an account of the survey, please click on the link below:


Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Thursday, 9 September 2010

Feeling Trapped?

Most people at some time in their life can identify with feeling trapped or frustrated in a particular situation - be it in personal life or working life.

In these situations it can help to try to think through your options in a logical way.

I have now posted a page on my website incorporating a simple format of questions to run through to help you explore options if you are not sure what to do in a particular situation.

To find out more, click on the link below:


Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Thursday, 26 August 2010

Humour in Relationships

Who has been in a relationship where both you and the other person got locked into a highly serious way of looking at things and a determination to prove your viewpoint to be right?

Most of us I would guess!

Getting entrenched into trying to prove your point often just leads to greater stress.

If you are able sometimes to laugh at yourself or at the situation and the competitiveness of it all it can often be a relationship saver.

For anyone who didn't hear it in the news last week, below is a link to a commentary on a recent horse race which included two horses with interesting names.

The commentary reminded me just how liberating it can be not to take stereotypes too seriously.

I must thank my other half, Denise, for alerting me to the commentary. She knows everything!


Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Thursday, 12 August 2010

Effect of The Recession on Mental Health

Perhaps it's not a great surprise, but recent reports suggest that the recession has caused a rise in mental health problems such as depression. Click below for more information:

Effect of Recession on Mental Health

For some simple introductory tips about how to deal with depression click on the link below:

Beating Depression

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Monday, 12 July 2010

Can You Change Your Sexuality?

The Daily Telegraph recently featured an article citing research suggesting that women may change their sexuality more commonly than men as they mature. Click on the link below to find out more:


What appears to be being talked about here is women's feelings for other women (and sexual attraction) developing or changing over time and some women then 'coming out' as those feelings grow (or even in some cases going the other way and reverting to a primarily heterosexual lifestyle and orientation after being gay, or in other cases becoming bisexual...).

This is a different (but not inconsistent) point from the reasonable observation that sometimes people may change from describing themselves as heterosexual to describing themselves as gay or lesbian when they 'come out'. That is really about 'revealing your true sexuality rather than hiding it because of worries about the reactions ore prejudices of others or perhaps because of a lack of realization or denial of your own sexuality. Click on the link below for an article from the Times which focuses more on that point:


Note: Neither of the articles to which I have provided links above should be confused with the view that homosexuality is an abberration or immoral and that you can or should try to change people's sexuality to make them 'normal'. I have never seen any significant evidence to suggest that that view is either correct or reasonable.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Should Coaches be Regulated?

Below is a link to the Association for Coaching's podcast downloads page which includes some free podcasts on the issue of whether life coaches and other coaches should be regulated:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

Differences between Counsellors & Life Coaches

I have recently posted on my website some reflections on possible differences between the approaches of counsellors and life coaches.

To find out more click on the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Thursday, 17 June 2010

How Many Tasks Can You Do At Once?

Earlier this year some research by French scientists was reported in the press suggesting that the brain is able to carry out two tasks at once but perhaps not more than that, because each half of the brain focuses on one task.

To find out more, click on the link below:

If you read the article carefully you may see that it refers to the brain 'switching' between two tasks. Indeed this has been the received wisdom to date from psychologists: that actually you can't concentrate on more than one task at a time. Therefore although you might do one activity automatically through habit whilst concentrating on another, you can't actually concentrate on two different activities at the same time, you will switch your focus from one to the other.

Often the advice is given that if you are trying to do two activities which require concentration, it is more efficient to do one and then the other rather than to flit backwards and forwards.

For this view - that actually multitasking is not as easy as some people may claim - check out the following link:

Forgetting the science, what is practical advice?

My suggestion would be that so long as you can do it safely, try it out each way in a situation where you might be tempted to attempt to multitask. See for yourself which you prefer - what is more efficient and easier on the stress levels for you - is it trying to do more than one thing at once or trying to focus on one thing at a time? Find out what works best for you personally and go with that.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Should Coaches Offer Free Life Coaching Sessions?

I have now posted onto my website as part of my Become a Life Coach newsletter, an article considering whether it is a good idea for life coaches to offer free initial coaching sessions.

To read the article click on the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Thursday, 3 June 2010

Does Exercise Make You Thin?

People who want to lose weight frequently believe that if they exercise a lot this will help them to lose weight. In fact the truth may be a bit more complex.

In August 2009, Time Magazine published an article highlighting research which casts doubt on the value of a stringent exercise regime in helping to reduce your weight, although it does at the same time refer to the acknowledged benefits for mental and physical health from moderate exercise such as walking while carrying bags or climbing stairs.

You can view the full article at: Why Exercise Won't Make You Thin. Some of the main points argued in the article are:

  • Strenuous exercise such as a hard session at the gym is likely to leave you hungry so that you eat more and therefore do not lose weight overall because the calories you eat after exercise may match or even exceed the calories you have burned off through vigorous exercise.
  • Sometimes people who underake strenuous activity to try to lose weight may then move around a lot less afterwards, negating some of the benefit of the exercise.
  • Doing moderately strenuous activities such as walking while carrying groceries or walking and climbing stairs can help your cognitive functioning. Also people who exercise are at significantly lower risk from a number of diseases particularly those relating to the heart and exercise helps your mental health.

The moral? If the article is correct then I would suggest that you keep doing moderate exercise to help with your mental and physical health but don't expect it to lose you weight. Instead if you are overweight or obese, a better way of losing weight is to follow a sensible balanced healthy diet whilst reducing excess intake of fatty or sugary items.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Thursday, 6 May 2010

Advantages of e-books

The BBC Website has published an article about How to Pick out an e-book, detailing considerations to bear in mind if you are thinking of getting an e-book and comparing them to paper books.

You can read the article at the link below:

For information about my own e-books for self improvement and coaching, immediately downloadable in PDF format, on issues such as:
  • Self Esteem
  • CBT Techniques
  • Assertiveness
  • Making life changes
  • Life coaching exercies and resources

Please click on the link below:

Life Coaching Books

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Treating Depression - What Works?

The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence ("NICE"), which is the National Health Service Organisation that publishes health recommendations for England and Wales, has published Guidelines for Treating Depression in Adults. The Guidelines outline the approaches that you should be offered by the NHS if you are experiencing depression.

Some points to note from the Guidelines are that:

1. Depression is a common problem - it affects nearly 1 in 6 people in the UK

2. The Guidelines consider 3 levels of depression:-
  • Mild depression - when a person has a small number of symptoms that have a limited effect on their daily life

  • Moderate depression - when a person has more symptoms that can make their daily life much more difficult than usual

  • Severe depression - when a person has many symptoms that can make their daily life extremely difficult.

3. The Guidelines state that mild depression can sometimes get better by itself without treatment or by following advice from your GP or other healthcare professionals on coping with problems and improving sleep - including advice on:

  • going to bed and getting up at regular times

  • not eating large meals or smoking or drinking alcohol just before going to bed

  • taking regular exercise.

4. The Guidelines state that possible treatments for mild to moderate depression include a self help programme, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and a programme of physical exercise.

5. They then indicate that if the treatments described in 4 above do not help you, then your healthcare professional should discuss with you whether to try either an antidepressant or a psychological treatment. Psychological treatments include one-to-one CBT or interpersonal therapy or behavioural activation.

6. The Guidelines note that if you decide not to have the treatments mentioned in 5 then you may be offered counselling or short-term psychodynamic psychotherapy but that your healthcare professionsal should explain that is uncertain whether counselling or short-term psychodynamic psychotherapy are helpful for people with depression.

7. If you have modereate or severe depression, you should be offered both an antidepressant and a psychological treatment which should be either CBT or interpersonal therapy.

The Guidelines described above were published in 2009. If you have any concerns that you may be depressed you are advised to consult your GP or another suitable qualified health professional.

To read the NICE Guidelines in full for yourself go to: Nice Guidelines for Treating Depression in Adults.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Friday, 9 April 2010

Quotations to Reflect On

I have been browsing the internet today for stimulating quotations.
Below are a few that I came across.
Feel free to post your comments on any of them...whether in agreement or disagreement:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"
- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction"
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash."
- Georg S. Patton

"Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out"
- Robert Collier

"What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself"
- Hecato (Greek Philosopher)

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Monday, 29 March 2010

I Hate My Studies...

I recently received an email from a student who is finding it difficult completing her studies. This may be a problem which is familiar to others so below I am posting the correspondence, having changed the name and removed any personally identifying details to protect confidentiality:

"Dear David

I am a Law student in my final year at university. I do enjoy university, but I absolutely hate my degree! I've always hated it, and month after month for the last two years I've wanted to drop out, only to be convinced by parents and tutors etc that it wouldn't be worth it so I just plod on and normally plod through it looking forward to when I can get over it and go travelling and then study to be a social worker (that is what I want to do - I'd rather die than become a solicitor or barrister).

My problem is that in a couple of months time I will be taking the most important exams of my life so far....yet I have absolutely no motivation to study or read my work whatsoever...I just spend days doing nothing. Literally I am more likely to stare into space for an hour than write a paragraph of my assignment. I actually procrastinate to the extreme and I have found I am up to date in all other areas of my life (i.e. I do voluntary work which I love and other activities) and I go along fine doing them, and feel happy, but as soon I sit down to do some Uni work I just want to burst into tears, and often I do. I have tried making revision timetables etc, but I can never stick to them. Everyone else seems to be finding it so easy and I know I'm being pathetic, but the truth is I just can't bring myself to do anything that my heart is not in, any longer. I feel 'dead' when I'm sitting at my laptop or reading some statute or case. I know for certain its not what I want to do with my life, I know my parents will be so dissapointed if I mess it all up, But I am finding it so difficult to have any motivation, because I feel like I've burned out. I have such burning passions for so many other things - I get so happy and excited when I think about travelling, I have started making all those plans, and have even made plans for becoming a social worker.. I don't want to be acedemic anymore. I am so unhappy thinking about all the university work I have to do. I know its going to be a mountain, and I know I have to get it all done and I want to graduate (or it will have all been for nothing), but I just can seem to do it. I just don't know how anymore.

Hope you can give me some tips,

Janice"


"Hi Janice

First of all I would suggest that you try to seek some independent advice from someone appropriate who can help you in a supportive way to talk through your issues and think of what you want to do in the short term and the medium term and how to deal with difficulties. I don't know your university but would hope that there is some sort of counsellling or support service there that you can approach for support. Your student union should be able to advise you on that.

It is good that you have plenty of activities and issues about which you are passionate, such as voluntary work etc. Keep these up as you are entitled to do things which you enjoy and which help you to relax and one day they may lead to something more.

You are at an age when you have the opportunity to make some decisions for yourself and this can be difficult, particularly if your choices ultimately prove to be different from what your parents envisaged - although I hope that if they see in future that you are happy with what you are doing then they will prefer that to you doing something you are unhappy with.

If you do not complete your law degree it may present some problems but it's not the end of the world - many people have been successful who have not got law degrees! However, if you do manage to complete your law degree it will provide a useful qualification even if you then decide to do something else, such as social work for example. As it happens, I practised as a solicitor for a few years before becoming a social worker and subsequently a life coach, so I can say with reasonable confidence that if you get a law degree it won't stop you then doing something else that you prefer!

If you are having difficulty with your assignments, I suggest that you set yourself small achievable targets at first and reward yourself by doing enjoyable activities when you achieve them - e.g. break down an assignment and reward yourself by doing a leisure activity that you enjoy once you complete a significant section of it, then again once you complete the whole of it (NB. The enjoyable activitiies can't be something harmful like drinking alcohol or with strong downsides, like spending a lot of money, but otherwise you can be creative with what you reward yourself with - constructive physical activity, a social activity, a walk, reading a book, painting...whatever you like doing).

You may find it helpful to treat the remainder of your law degree as a short term project you are aiming to achieve, reminding yourself that once you achieve it you can then take time to decide whether you want to continue with law or do something else - you don't have to rush into a legal career law just because you think, rightly or wrongly, that is what is expected of you.

Best wishes and good luck with the next few months!

David"

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Thursday, 18 March 2010

Developing Good Habits

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit" - Aristotle

I found this quote on the internet. From my recollection of having read Aristotle's "Nicomachean Ethics" as a student many years ago, it does sound to me like the sort of thing that he might say.

Good habits - and excellence - generally take time and practice to develop.

Musicians and athletes often break down what they are doing into small parts or actions and practise those parts repeatedly until they become natural (of course in practising them you need to be sure that you are practising them the right way, rather than the wrong way -even if that means going slower intially - you want to develop a good habit rather than to ingrain a bad habit).

I remember seeing Andy Murray play an incredible tennis shot which seemed inspirational. Afterwards he was asked about it in interview and he said 'I've been practising that shot a lot in training.'

If you are trying to develop a new good habit, remember it often takes time, patience and conscious effort:

- Work out what actions are involved in the new habit:
- Practise them at a level you can achieve
- Repeat them
- Repeat them again
- Give yourself credit when you succeed
- Be patient at times you don't
- If you get into a bad groove, change something
- If you get into a good groove keep it up.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Does Massage Relieve Stress and Anxiety?

Massage as everyone knows helps to relieve stress and anxiety- or does it?

According to some recent research it seems that the relief from anxiety/stress that you may experience when having a massage could simply be because of the soothing music played during a typical massage session.

To read an article about the research click on the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Thursday, 25 February 2010

Facebook Life Coaching Page

If you use Facebook you can now find life coaching tips and updates on my service on my Facebook page "Life Coaching with David Bonham-Carter".

To locate the page go to: Life Coaching with David Bonham-Carter and sign into your Facebook account.

Or alternatively sign into your Facebook account and search for "Life Coaching with David Bonham-Carter".

Best wishes and enjoy your networking!


David

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Friday, 12 February 2010

Is Anxiety Always Bad for You?

We tend to think of anxiety as something which creates stress and problems.

Well of course it can do this. But it can have good or useful sides to it too.

For example, if you are faced with a genuine threat or risk, an appropriate level of anxiety can alert you to thinking about how to take reasonable measures to avoid or deal with the threat - in evolutionary terms one often hears of the famous 'fight or flight' response to a threat.

If you deal with dangers or risks complacently, without any anxiety, then you may increase the likelihood of being caught out or suffering adverse consequences following from the risk.

The key words are perhaps 'reasonable' and 'appropriate'. It is when your level of anxiety is excessive in proportion to the real risk or danger that it may be considered to be unhelpful. In those circumstances it may be that you want to use techniques to help you calm down or to help you put in perspective the risk or analyse in a sensible manner how real it is or the extent of it.

If you suffer from a particular form of anxiety, such as generalised anxiety or social anxiety, it is likely that in some situations your perception of the level of 'risk' is distorted - for example, you might expect that people will think badly of you or laugh at you for certain actions or behaviour when many people may not even notice the behaviour or may have a more positive or less judgemental view of it than you anticipate.

If you suffer from severe anxiety and find that you expect yourself to be or behave perfectly all the time, then try not to be so hard on yourself - remember that no one is perfect and if you can, try not to apply a harsher standard to yourself than you would to others. Also, in line with the above, if you have perfectionistic tendencies or a high level of anxiety try to acknowledge those areas of your life where your perfectionism or drive has actually bought positive results for you - it may well have helped you to achievements which people with less drive admire.

Anxiety is not always your enemy. One of my suggestions would be to value it for the times it helps and to try to put it in perspective at times when it doesn't help.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Friday, 5 February 2010

Multi Tasking

Quote for the Day:

Too Much Multi Tasking Leads to Multi Stress


Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Thursday, 28 January 2010

The Miracle Question

I recently received a query from a life coach in the USA about the Miracle Question.

For those of you who have never heard of the Miracle Question, it is a coaching exercise associated with Brief Therapy (also known as "Solution Focused Therapy").

Brief Therapy provides a set of techniques for helping people to make positive changes in their life which focuses on solutions and how to get there using your strengths and resources rather than on more traditional techniques of analysis.

The Miracle Question is often posed by the therapist or coach right at the beginning of a series of sessions.

The question itself is an incredibly simple way of getting you to think about how you would like your life to be.

The idea is that you try to focus in as much detail as possible on what that preferred life will be like and then you start to think about how you might get there beginning with the very first step.

In Brief Therapy you might be asked to rate how close you are to achieving the future you want on a scale of 1-10 and then to say what would take you just one point closer to the goal and focus on that as that first step. Then you could be asked to focus on other actions that might take you further up the scale.

You can see a simple version of the Miracle Question on my website at the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Thursday, 14 January 2010

Dealing with Mental Stresses

Albert Ellis, the person who invented Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (a form of cognitive behavioural therapy), suggests a simple technique for helping with certain types of stresses as follows.

The technique applies to situations where you find yourself thinking that someone should or must or ought to do something. You may be thinking this about someone else (a kind of expectation or demand) or about yourself (a form of self criticism). Or indeed you may be thinking it about a situation rather than an individual: Thoughts such as it ought to be like this or it ought not to be like this.

If you have these kind of internal demands or expectations (and I think we all do at some time or another) then if they are thwarted you usually begin to feel stressed or resentful or angry or frustrated (with others or with yourself or with the situation).

The technique suggested by Ellis is that in this kind of situation in your mind you replace your internal dialogue with the new thought 'I have a strong preference for X' instead of 'X ought to be the case' or 'S/he should do X' or 'I should do X'. You could of course slightly alter the formulation to use a similar phrase with which you are comfortable, such as 'I would greatly like it if X.'

If you do that you may find that the feelings of stress, resentment, anger or frustration reduce.

Try it and See!

Note: If you are interested in learning more CBT techniques like this one through telephone life coaching session, to help with a personal stressful situation then visit the link below for information about what such sessions might cover:

Life Coaching with CBT


Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Monday, 28 December 2009

New Year Resolutions - Plan B!

New Year is the time when traditionally we decide on the dreams we are going to aim for over the next 12 months - whether that be getting a new career, finding our perfect partner, going to the gym twice a week or something else.

Of course history tells many of us that we don't always achieve or manage to carry out our New Year's Resolution so this Blog Entry is about New Year's Resolution - Plan B!

To construct your New Year's Resolution - Plan B:

1. Think of the dream that you might want to create a New Year's Resolution about - write it down.

2. Now construct your Plan B resolution by writing a sentence that begins 'If I don't [Here insert the dream you put in 1.]....' - Complete the sentence by inserting your optimistic strategy for reacting if your dream doesn't happen for whatever reason.

Examples might be:

  • 'If I don't find a girlfriend/boyfriend I will try like hell to enjoy myself and lead a full life anyway'

  • 'If I don't manage to change job, I'm going to chill out, treat my work as an unpleasant necessity, choose not to get wound up about it, and forget about it in my spare time'

  • 'If I don't manage to travel to the World Cup this year, I'm going to relax and watch it on TV and use the money I save to treat myself in another way.'

I hope you find your dream in 2010 but if you don't then remember there's always Plan B and it may actually be less stressful!

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Friday, 18 December 2009

Coping with Christmas

Christmas for many people is an enjoyable time when you get to indulge yourself a little, relax and share presents and enjoyment with partner, family and/or friends. However, many can also find Christmas quite stressful, demanding or lonely.

If the relationships you have bring with them pressures or arguments or if you are going to be on your own at Christmas then it may be that you are not looking forward to it with quite the glittering anticipation that a traditional Christmas picture paints.

If you think that Christmas may present some difficulties or stresses for you, then it is worth giving a few positive thoughts to how you are going to get through the period successfully and if possible a little more enjoyably than normal. If you can foresee some predictable problems such as arguments or even boredom, then ask yourself in advance:
  • How can I get through the predictable stresses or problems in the best way - what have I done before that worked or what I can I try this time to make things reasonable if not perfect?
  • What can I do over the Xmas period (even if only for a short period) to ensure that I get some enjoyment out of it?

If for some reason this Christmas is likely to be different for you from previous years - for example, if you are not going to be with the usual people or in the usual place - then ask yourself:

'Do I want to do anything to help me remember the good points of previous years or the faces I miss, in a reasonable way and/or focus on positive aspects of the new style Christmas?'

Even if you are not Christian, if you are living in a country where Christmas is celebrated you will probably find that your routine changes a bit at this time of year because of the changes around you in terms of shops closing, people taking holidays etc, so you may still find it helpful to reflect on how you will ensure you make the most of the period.

However you view Christmas - whether happily, wearily, negatively or positively - I hope you have a good time during the festive season and a Happy New Year.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Monday, 7 December 2009

CBT or Drugs?

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and anti-depressant drugs prescribed by doctors can are both used to treat depression.

The BBC recently posted an article on its news website by Dr Jennifer Wild, Senior Lecturer at the Institute of Psychiatry comparing the relative merits of the two approaches.

The article highlights the fact that changing the way you think (the essence of CBT) can help to lift your mood and wellbeing.

To read the Dr Wild's article click on the link below:

Drugs, CBT and Depression

For anyone interested in finding out more about cognitive behavioural techniques to help with negative thoughts, I have now completed my most recent ebook which provides information about CBT, descriptions of CBT techniques and a variety of practical exercises.

The book gives a practical introduction to different CBT techniques if you want to know more about what they are. Anyone interested can find further information at the link below:

CBT Techniques

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Monday, 23 November 2009

Cognitive Therapy

I am currently working on a new ebook on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques which should be available from my website in a few weeks time.

In the meantime, to give people an introduction to some of the ideas of cognitive therapy which underpin CBT, I have found a page of useful information on the internet, which describes the origins and theory of cogntive therapy and some of its techniques.

The basic premise of cognitive therapy theory as devised by Aaron Beck is that a major factor in emotional difficulties or disorder such as anxiety or mild depression is faulty thought patterns or 'cognitive distortions'.
A simple example would be someone criticising something you do and you concluding from this that you are useless or a failure. The conclusion is excessive but would probably lead you to feel pretty bad about yourself.
Cognitive Therapy and CBT aim to help you to identify and address extreme self criticism of this nature among other things. Techiniques include things such as:
  • Thought Stopping
  • Balancing Statements
  • Activity Schedules

    To read the introductory information on cognitive therapy, click on the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Google Pay Per Click - An Introduction

As part of my series of newsletters on Becoming a Life Coach, I have created a web page which examines some of the advantages and disadvantages of using Google Pay Per Click advertising to try to generate business.

You can read the article at:


Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Friday, 6 November 2009

Work Related Stress

Many of us have experienced a work culture or a personal background where the notion that you might find it difficult to cope or manage at work is perceived as something to be ashamed of, so admitting that you are stressed in your job can be difficult. Yet in 2008-9 it was estimated that approximately 415,000 people in Great Britain alone suffered from work related stress, anxiety or depression (see Health & Safety Executive Website).

My first suggestions if you find yourself affected by this are:
1. Ask yourself what your priorities are. How important is your health and wellbeing? How important is your work? What are your other priorities, such as relationships and family?
2. What effects is the stress having on you personally and on your capacity to carry out the job professionally (particularly if you work in a field where you make decisions which have an impact on the lives of others)?

Assuming that on the basis of your answers to these questions you decide that it is important that you do something about stress, then consider:
(a) From whom might you seek support to help you deal with your stress better or explore your options in a sensible way?
(b) In the work environment, is there anything that you can do, if you are going to continue to work, that will help you to manage your workload and/or other stresses? For example,
- Can you delegate or seek support on any difficult or time consuming tasks?
- Can you prioritise tasks more effectively, focusing on those which really need doing and spending less time on unimportant matters?
- If a work colleague is making things difficult for you, are there ways in which you can act or avenues of support or advice which you can explore to help you deal with that more effectively?

(c) Outside the work environment:
- Try to ensure that you have some quality time outside of the work environment to give you a break if the main sources of stress are at work
- If some of the sources of stress are outside work, try to clarify for yourself what outcomes you want in respect of those issues, what your options are and what constructive actions you can take.

If you are stressed at work, you may well be tired and find it difficult to see clearly or take action. Ask yourself how long this has been going on and if there is a reason why it may change soon. If there isn't and things having been going on for a while, try to initiate some positive change yourself by setting yourself 1 or 2 actions to try out based on the above points.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Marketing for Life Coaches

Many life coaches are very good at what they do, but not so good at marketing their life coaching service.

I have recently posted an article on my website which gives some initial comments on marketing options for life coaches to get your coaching service known.

For further information, click on the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Monday, 19 October 2009

The Alternative Way of Dieting

Most standard diets set out by encouraging you to devise a program of what you are going to eat. There is usually some choice built into the program or you may be allowed various 'sins' or lapses where you eat some kind of forbidden food, but that is permitted because on the whole you are sticking within the diet plan or are within calorie limits that you have set yourself. Nonetheless the concept remains the same - you are encouraged to lose weight by planning to a greater or lesser degree what you are going to eat.

This kind of approach can work, but it is hard work. It also does not always deal with emotional issues that may be involved in over eating - such as 'comfort eating' or a lack of belief in your ability to change eating habits. But what alternative approach to dieting is there?-

I recently came across (and listened to) an MP3 product by the experienced UK hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner, Julie Mann, which tackles losing weight in a different way. Instead of being asked to devise a diet plan, you get an MP3 audio download which uses hypnotic suggestion and relaxation techniques to put you into a confident, relaxed state where you can make healthy choices about you eat. You start to trust yourself to make decisions.

This hypnosis MP3 rests on the belief that we each have resources in us which can when tapped into start to regulate our body and what we eat in a sensible way. So it's not about forcing you to eat certain things or about not eat certain things. It's about helping you to connect with your senses and your natural innate ability to realise when you have eaten enough, and helping you to feel good and comfortable about stopping eating at that point and realising that you can be in control.

The beauty of this kind of method when it works is that your attempts to give up eating unhealthily are no longer such a fight - you are learning to eat healthily through your own inner unconscious resources and learning to realise that any emotional or other needs that you might have been trying to meet through comfort eating can be met in other ways through your own resourcefulness. This doesn't mean this is an instant diet cure - like anything else it requires patience and application - I would suggest that you listen to the MP3 daily at possible until you reach a point where you feel you have made the positive changes in eating habits that you want and no longer need the positive reinforcement of the MP3.

For more information and details about how you can purchase and download the MP3 immediately click on the link below:

Losing Weight - the Alternative Way

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Monday, 12 October 2009

Relaxation Techniques

If you find yourself feeling tense or anxious then it can be helpful to practise relaxation exercises to help to bring your body and mind back into a calmer state.

Below you can find a link to an article setting out 3 simple relaxation techniques:

1. Counting Backwards.

2. Tensing your toes (you can also try this with other parts of your body).

3. Guided imagery exercise.

The exercises may also be of assistance if you have difficulty in getting to sleep. Personally I find the 'Tensing your toes' exercise most helpful for that purpose:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Jealousy and Self Esteem

Jealousy and low self esteem can be related in two ways.

First of all, if you already have low self esteem then you may feel that people close to you will prefer others to you - because you don't value yourself enough. This can contribute towards feelings of envy, jealousy or suspicion of others who you think may gain the attention or interest of your partner or someone else important to you.

Secondly, even if you do not usually have low self esteem but you have a tendency to jealousy for other reasons then you may find that if you act in jealous ways your self esteem is impacted, because you feel ashamed about the way you are acting and feeling.

If either of these situations applies to you then you may be interested in a collection of ebooks which I have now put together in one downloadable pack to complement each other on the topics of jealousy, low self esteem and assertiveness.

To find out more, click on the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Monday, 24 August 2009

Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History

I recently came across the quote: 'Well behaved women seldom make history'. The idea of the quote I think is to encourage women to step outside cultural, social or gender based roles which may be restrictive.

Curiously enough the quote also had some resonance for me as a man. It made me realise the number of times I have done something or worried about something because I feel it's what I ought to do (or not do as the case may be).

For me as someone who uses CBT techniques in life coaching I guess the question I would suggest people ask themselves in relation to actions (or inaction) they follow based on perceptions or unspoken rules about what they ought to do or ought not to do is:

What are likely to be the consequences?

If a balanced appraisal of the likely consquences of acting in a certain way leads you to believe that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages then maybe it is time to try out acting that way if you haven't done so before.

If it is possible to do so first on a small scale to see what the results are and evaluate them before deciding whether to try the action again then that may be sensible and may also help you to get over the initial hurdle of doing something different from normal.

If on the other hand the change in behaviour is large scale and the potential consequences great, then you might want to take independent advise before taking a momentous decision or action, but ultimately the choice is yours.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Monday, 17 August 2009

Motivating Tips

Sometimes in my life coaching sessions I ask clients to come up with particular mottos or phrases which they find motivating and to remind themselves of these on a regular basis or when feeling a bit demotivated in order to get themselves going again.

Examples of the things both clients and friends have come up with are:

'Try everything in moderation - even moderation'

'Life is too short to worry about it!'

'Nothing is a problem only a challenge'

'Smile at others and the world smiles at you'

See if you can think of a motivating phrase for yourself then write it out and stick it somewhere where you will see it regularly such as in your car or on your computer or in your kitchen.

Finding a phrase that will help to motivate you is a personal thing. My only tip would be that once you've thought of a phrase ask yourself whether you will feel positive when you say it to yourself or whether you are actually putting more pressure on yourself - if the former, great; if the latter then see if you can think of an alternative which is a bit lighter. If the phrase it a touch humourous that can often help you to relax and move forward.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Sex Therapy Bristol - Bath - South Gloucestershire

Sex therapy or counselling is a specialist area of work that I sometimes get asked for recommendations on.
This is not an area of work that I personally specialise in. However, if you live in Bristol, South Gloucestershire or Bath and are seeking a helpful sex therapy service to help you deal with sexual issues or concerns in your relationship in a practical effective way, then you can find information about a useful service involving cognitive behavioural techniques and other specialist coaching approaches at the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Thursday, 13 August 2009

Happiness Economics

It seems that the idea of happiness economics - that governments in setting taxes and policies should aim to promote general well being - could be becoming fashionable.

Anyone familiar with moral philosopy is likely to know of the utilitarian view championed by John Stuart Mill and others in the 19th century that the best action is the one that brings the greatest happiness to the highest number of people.

Happiness economics seems to promote a similar idea but now brought into the field of economic policy.

David Cameron and some other conservatives such as the former conservative leader Iain Duncan-Smith who established the think tank the 'Centre for Social Justice' appear to have embraced the idea of seeking to promote 'general well being' or 'GWB' and some Blairite figures also endorsed the idea.

To find out more about 'Happiness Economics' visit the link below on the BBC website:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Friday, 31 July 2009

If Life Hands You a Lemon

The other day I received in the post a brochure from a provider of alternative holidays with an editorial focusing on the saying 'If life hands you a lemon make lemonade'. The idea of the saying is to encourage you to try to make an opportunity out of a crisis.

There are some shocks or crises which can turn into positives despite their apparent gloom. Sometimes being made redundant, for example, can lead you into starting to look into career options which you did not dare to consider when you were in steady employment.

It is a daunting thing to be taken out of your comfort zone but if this happens then one possible way of approaching the situation is to try to see if there are any new opportunities for you to develop yourself or to do new things or develop new skills or relationships arising from the situation.

But what if the situation is not one that you immediately want to forget or to move on from? This may be the case for situations involving change in a relationship or loss. If that is so, then you may find the following helpful:

Reflect on the situation that you were in which has now changed. If there were genuine positives in it that you have lost and which may never return - for example, if the situation involves the end of a relationship or a bereavement or a parting - then reflect on the positives that you had and if you can do so, commemmorate them or celebrate them in a way that is fitting to the nature of them - if appropriate you might write about them or create a photo album or some other reminder.

The idea is not to attach yourself to the past but to allow yourself to have a fitting reminder of it for when you need it and to give elements of your personal history and the people and events in it, the respect due to them.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Sunday, 19 July 2009

Motivation & Action

Do you ever find it difficult to motivate yourself to complete a task. Maybe you are dreading doing it or perhaps it's just too boring?

Below is a link to a page where I feature a life coaching exercise called a "Motivation and Actions Checklist" - a practical tool for helping you to get yourself to do those things which you have been putting off.

Click below to find out more:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Friday, 3 July 2009

Is Music Good for the Heart?

The BBC News channel recently featured an article on its website describing the results of a recent study into the effects of music on heart beat and blood pressure.

According to the article, the study suggested that music with a faster tempo increases breathing, heart rate and blood pressure while slower music does the opposite.

This seems consistent with common sense - if you are listening to lively, quick music you are likely to feel more animated and for it to be reflected in physiological changes. If you are listening to slower calmer music one would hope it will help you to calm down.

Soft slow gentle music is often used in relaxation tapes and CDs and I guess here is some scientific evidence to support that use.

Perhaps more intriguingly the study also seems to have gone further and suggested that operatic music, which alternates between fast and slow, could be the best for the heart and circulation.

Verdi's arias it seems sychronise perfectly with natural cardiovascular rhythm!

To read the full article, click on the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Monday, 22 June 2009

Earning Money as a Life Coach

Promotional material for life coaching courses may often make it sound as if it is easy to make money from being a life coach.

Is this really the case?

On my website as part of my Becoming a Life Coach Newsletter, I have now published an article considering the realities of making money as a life coach and suggesting some considerations to bear in mind if you are thinking of becoming a life coach.

The article reflects on motivations for becoming a life coach, marketing channels for developing a life coaching business and additional sources of income asides from direct life coaching services for clients or groups.

To read the article, click on the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Friday, 19 June 2009

Life Coaching Resources

People who read my Life Coach Tips newsletter tend to fall into one of two categories:

(1) People seeking to make changes or improvements in their own life.

(2) Those who work as life coaches or in other helping roles, for example in the voluntary sectory or as counsellors and want to develop their coaching practice or find out more about different techniques and ideas that are used in life coaching.

Both in my own personal experience of making life changes and in my work as a coach, I have come firmly to believe in the the importance of having a set of tried and tested techniques or tools that you can use when you want to take steps forward.

With that in mind I have put together a number of coaching eBooks which cover coaching techniques for use in dealing with different issues such as self esteem, life change, assertiveness and jealousy.

Included in these eBooks are some of the techniques which I have found to be most useful, such as cognitive behavioural (CBT) techniques for dealing with problematic or negative thoughts relating to particular issues.

I have designed most of the eBooks so that they can be of use to both individuals and life coaches and they are set out for practical use - if you are just looking for a general discussion of the issues, these are not the books for you, but if you are looking for practical programmes, life coaching exercises or techniques to try out with clear instructions and specific ideas, then they may well be right for you.

One recent product I have designed is a Life Coaching Resources Pack which bundles together at a reduced price four ebooks on different topics - Changing Your Life, Low Self Esteem, How to Be Assertive and Life Coaching Exercises.

If you are interested in acquiring some life coaching techniques and tools to help you move forward in your own life or to help your work as a coach with clients in life coaching sessions, you can find out more about the Life Coaching Resources Pack at the link below:

(Note for visitors to this blog from the USA: If you are reading this from the United States and would prefer to see pricing in US dollars rather than pounds sterling, the product is alternatively offered in US dollars at Life Coaching Resources Pack - USA Version)

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching


Thursday, 4 June 2009

Panic and Anxiety Programs Review

A large number of people experience panic attacks or severe anxiety at some point in their life. However sufferers often seek to hide their experiences from others because of shame or not wanting to appear inadequate or incompetent (this applies particularly to people who experience feelings of panic when making presentations in a job setting).

Quite often, hiding your anxiety can actually make it worse - because it increases your fear of other people finding out. Actually what can help with anxiety is to try to accept what is happening almost as if you were observing yourself from outside like a scientist, because this decreases the fear and the 'fight or flight' response which is fuelling your panic and anxiety and which gets worse if you try to fight the anxiety.

This is easier said than done - and if you experience panic attacks you may think I'm crazy in suggesting it! To help you start to come to terms with your anxiety and therefore reduce the level of panic, there are specific techniques which you can use such as distraction and breathing or relaxation techniques.

There are a number of panic or anxiety non medical treatment programs or methods which cover some of these different techniques and can be helpful in addressing them. Here is a short review of the two online panic and anxiety attack programs that I would most recommend, namely:

1. Jon Mercer's Easy Calm downloadable videos which you can find out more about at:
and

2. Joe Barry's Panic Away eBook which you can find out more about at:

Which one of these 2 approaches for dealing with panic attacks and anxiety do I think is better? That's quite difficult to answer as I think both are good. I think which is better for you may well depend on your personal learning style - the Panic Away program is an eBook, so if following written instructions and ideas suits your learning style then this may be for you. It is also a little cheaper than the Easy Calm program (neither is cheap but compared to the cost of individualised coaching sessions they both offer good value in my view).

The Panic Away Program also offers Joe Barry's famous One Move Technique for eliminating panic attacks quickly. This is a virtue if you are able to master the technique because then you may get a quick and helpful solution to panic attacks. The downside is that if you are unable to do so, then you could be disappointed.

The Easy Calm videos by contrast offer a more incremental approach - building up skills to beat panic attacks step by step by a series of exercises and ideas. Also the instruction is given on downloadable videos and you hear Jon Mercer's voice speaking (there is a sample of the first video on his site at the link to it at the foot of this blog entry so you can see what it is like). Therefore, the Easy Calm Videos do not offer such a quick solution as the Panic Away eBook but they have good helpful ideas and a patient supportive approach.

The Easy Calm videos would get my vote, but it's very much a matter of personal preference and some of you may prefer the Panic Away eBook.
Alternative Approach Using CBT
An alternative approach to tackling anxiety and panic which you might consider and which is cheaper than either the Easy Calm or the Panic Away programs is my own downloadable ebook program for dealing with anxiety.

You can find information about that by clicking on the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching


Friday, 29 May 2009

Assertiveness Training

Assertiveness is one of the issues that people most frequently request my coaching support for.

As part of my series of life coaching books, I have recently written a downloadable eBook describing 5 different methods of helping people to become more assertive.

To find out more please click on the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching


Sunday, 24 May 2009

Affiliate Marketing - Self Improvement Products

Affiliate Marketing involves promoting and selling someone else's products for a commission or other fee.

The web page below gives some information about affiliate marketing if you want to earn additional income from selling someone else's self improvement products, such as self help ebooks, online under an affiliate program.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching

Dealing with Anger

Anger is a natural emotional state in which triggered by a situation or by your own feelings about yourself or someone else you experience a surge of energy and a flow of adrenaline through your body.

In itself there is nothing wrong with anger - the problems arise when it is excessive or out of control and when you behave towards someone else (or yourself) in a damaging way because of your anger. When that happens it can create problems for you and for others.

Anger is one of the biggest causes of difficulties in relationships and also carries health risks for the person experiencing it, including potentially increasing your risk of:

  • high blood pressure

  • heart disease and cancer

  • depression

  • self harm

  • substance misuse

For some information about possible approaches to dealing with anger effectively, click on the link below:

Dealing with Anger

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching

Saturday, 9 May 2009

Life Coaching Exercises

My latest eBook available for immediate download is a collection of 50 life coaching exercises which should be useful both for personal development and for life coaches who would like a resource of coaching exercises that they can use with clients in appropriate situations when providing coaching.

To find out details of the life coaching exercises included, please click on the link below:

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching



Friday, 1 May 2009

Unhealthy Food and Brain Signals

According to an article published in the Daily Telegraph on 1 May 2009, researchers have now discovered that different parts of the brain become active when people are tempted by unhealthy food.

The article highlights an 'angel' part of the brain which it seems is strong in people who have good self control and less strong - according to the article - in those whose self control is not so good.

On the other hand it seems that there is another part of the brain, the 'devil' part of the brain, which is active when you feel that temptation to eat unhealthy but enticing food.

You can see the article online at the link below:

Angel and Devil Brain Signals for Food

The technical name for the angel part of the brain if you're interested in that kind of thing is "the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex" (DLPFC).

The practical question remains however - what can you or I do to increase the chances of our angel part of the brain being activated and helping us to control our eating habits?

The scientists are still working on that one, so until they find the answer, it may be best to stick to common sense practical strategies to increase your chances of eating healthily, such as:

1. Remove opportuntities for eating tempting but unhealthy food - if it's not there you can't eat it.

2. Identify in advance situations where you might be tempted to eat unhealthily or to excess and prepare a plan for how you are going to deal with those situations.

3. Think back to occasions when you successfully resisted temptation and if possible repeat the strategies that worked for you then.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching



Friday, 24 April 2009

Einstein's Definition of Insanity

The famous scientist Albert Einsten is reported to have defined insanity as consisting of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

If this is so, then maybe most of us are insane, because I for one would have to admit that at times I have repeated behaviour in a similar situation for no particularly good reason but with the hope that maybe this time things will be different.

The point though is a good one from a life coaching perspective: If you find that you keep on doing something in one way and it is not bringing the results that you want then why not try to do something different?

Of course, it makes sense to assess the risks of doing something different first and if these seem too high then maybe moderate your change or try it out in a small way first to test the water without running too much risk if that is possible. Ask yourself 'What have I got to lose?' - If the answer is not much then why not try out the new approach and see if it works? If it doesn't you can try something else.

This brings me in mind of another reported quote from Einstein.

He is supposed to have said that a person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.

That is a quote I like!

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching


Friday, 10 April 2009

Self Criticism

Negative self criticsm is often an aspect of low self esteem. If you find you are often too critical of yourself then try going through the checklist of questions below to help give some balance to your thinking:

1. Ask yourself: 'If I were talking to a friend who was in my situation and they were expressing those self critical thoughts, what would I say to them?' The response might include suggestions like:

‘Don’t be so hard on yourself’ OR ‘No one else noticed so it didn’t really matter’

2. Alternatively, imagine a reasonable and supportive friend is talking to you about your self critical perception of yourself. What might they say to you? This might include similar things to the above, or other points specifically related to the situation or to your qualities, such as:

‘Maybe this is not your strong point but you’ve got other more important qualities, like being a good friend’ OR ‘You made a mistake, that’s all. We all do it from time to time.’

3. Ask yourself if your self critical assessment is accurate or is it exaggerated? - If your self critical statement includes the words never’ or always’ you may be able to soften it by recognising that sometimes you make the mistake or act in the way you feel bad about, but on other occasions you do act in the positive way that you would like.

4. Often people remember mistakes and failures but not successes, so ask yourself if there any similar occasions when you have acted positively – Acknowledge that on this occasion you perhaps didn’t act as you would have liked, but remind yourself that on other occasions you have done so, to put the situation into context.

5. Even if your self critical thought is true, ask yourself how much it really matters? Is it a matter of life and death or just something that in an ideal world you might have done differently?

6. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. No one is perfect.

This checklist is taken from my low cost eBook on dealing with Low Self Esteem and Negative Self Criticism. To find out more about the eBook, visit the link below: