Tuesday, 3 February 2015

Are You Too Demanding?

If you have a tendency when talking to others to say 'You Should/Must/Ought' or 'You Shouldn't/Mustn't/Ought Not' it is possible that others will find you domineering and inflexible.

If you have a tendency for using similar moralistic, demanding language in talking to yourself, then you are putting a lot of pressure on yourelf to act in certain ways, a pressure which it may not be easy to live up to.

Either way, is this something you really want to do? If not, then try the following:
  • Use words that reflect feelings or preferences such as 'I wish' 'I would prefer' 'I would like' rather than oughts, shoulds and musts.
  • If tempted to use a demanding word then ask yourself if you really think that is going to help in the situation before opening your mouth or embarking on a process of extreme criticism of another person or of yourself. If not, then try an alternative, softer way of talking to others and to yourself and see if it proves more productive and less stressful!
For information about an ebook providing further tips for dealing with distorted thinking patterns, click on the link below:

CBT Techniques to Beat Negative Thinking

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